oh god the rape fog is back!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The adults are the big ones right?
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