having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
