after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
