Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
