Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
