i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
