this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
