i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
