She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
