Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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