I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
