I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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