normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
