oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
