that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
