she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
