i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
