New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
