Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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