She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
