I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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