It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
