I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
