i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
