didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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