i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
