Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
