im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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