i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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