i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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