take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
