In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
