He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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