Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
