found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
