Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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