We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
