pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
