I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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