Non-Jews are for practice
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
