if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
