why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
