I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
