He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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