So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
