I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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