Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
