and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
