Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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