kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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