I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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