my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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